I Might Not be Superior to You, but I am Just as Good

I read an article, or blog rather, that attempts to portray women as second to men. I will concede that in regards to brute strength and the ability to produce sperm is a market that men have cornered. I will NOT concede that they are more courageous in times of battle, have a higher tolerance for pain, are smarter, have contributed more to society (true theirs is recorded as such, but since history is written by the victors, then i would state that as the case for their outnumbering female contributions as a whole), and so on.

The typical notion of the proper Victorian female is just that – a notion – women who know their place. In colonial America (i cannot speak for all countries) I know for a fact that women plowed as indentured servants alongside men – and, should the women be raped and become pregnant as a result- she was further punished by an even longer sentence of servitude. These same women fought alongside their colonists brethren against the Indians, in the Revolutionary War – hell Sally Townsend is hailed a hero because she chose her country over love and because of her Benedict Arnold was revealed as the traitor that he was. Yet, these women never reaped the full benefits afforded to the white propertied males that formed our new country (FYI I am not hating on them – I happen to like Washington, and in spite of The Trail of Tears, Andrew Jackson is a favorite of mine – though he was not present at the event being discussed – just wanted to throw that in there to show I am not some crazy man hater) But I digress, have you ever heard of “the rule of thumb” – for those who have you know what i am talking about. For those who have not, it was a LAW that you could beat your wife legally with anything that’s circumference was no wider than that of your thumb. So there’s that nugget of non-oppression that you women hating misogynists think females just pull out of thin air. Then, only the man could officially file for divorce – a woman could take a chance and leave her husband, but she would have nothing and would be nothing. A woman was property to be traded for a dowry – nothing more than mere chattel. Should the man decide that she no longer pleased him, he could divorce her, take all the property, and she had no right to the children. These are not feminazi lies perpetuated by vagina warrior princesses, this treatment was just as real as colonial anti-Catholicism, slavery, and hatred for the British. It’s pretty basic and can be found in most history book.

Let’s move a bit further along into American history, shall we, to what was known as The Great Awakening – the time of the great evangelists, the temperance movement, poorhouses, orphanages, and the like. The Temperance movement began out of concern for wives and children being left destitute by husbands who beat them unmercifully and squandered all of their earnings on the drink. I disagreed with the movement, because it is my personal opinion that morality cannot be legislated. But the abuse of women an neglect of children was so severe that a movement was begun that culminated in child labor laws and Prohibition. But i am getting a bit ahead of myself.

My favorite thing to discuss is women who fought alongside the men during the Civil War – not the camp followers, not the nurses and/or prostitutes, but the women who disguised themselves as men and followed husbands, brothers, and fathers into battle to fight for their family, their rights, and their countries. Southern women especially. One, with the last name of Vasquez or Velasquez, even rose to the rank of Captain in the Confederate Army under Gen. Forrest and commanded an army of men quite successfully. These women were so astute at hiding their genders that one was not even discovered until she actually gave birth in the camp (That excerpt comes from the book, They Fought Like Demons) Feel free to look it up. These women expected no preferential treatment, they stuck rags in their pants to hide that time of the month and bound their breasts. But you know what sucks, upon their discovery, the government withheld their pensions and would not pay them for their service to their country. So, there is another nugget of oppression. Okay, moving on, black men received the right to vote before women did, and we all know how they were treated in America. And really as a woman, it depended on your class with regards to how you were treated.

If you were an immigrant – you were treated poorly by your government, your neighborhood, and your husband – and there was no one for you to call – you simply had to make the most of your small tenement existence and suck it up, which is what most of them did. Those who were able to escape the Victorian confines of society as well as their bodices, became the new “anti-woman” – aka the Flapper. These “whores” smoked, drank, cut their hair short, and showed their ankles. They caroused as though they were men and had fun doing it. They fought for women’s’ suffrage and reproductive rights (we thank you Margaret Sanger – regardless of your intentions behind introducing the pill – some argue that this was an experiment in eugenics to keep the lower classes from exploding in the population, but regardless, this now meant that a woman could choose how large she wanted her family to be).

Women finally began retaining the rights to their property they brought with them into a marriage, but divorce was still not the norm.

The came the Great War (WWI) – Women had been used as replacement workers in previous wars and caring for the wounded, now they were looked to again to help their men and their country. These jobs afforded some women to rise to the next social class level and procure an education and even hire the lower class immigrant women to help with tedious chores in their homes – a side note – many women were hired as telephone operators during the war as their voices were considered more pleasant and were seen to be more detailed oriented than men *(From Those Extraordinary Women in World War I). They were nurses, yadda yadda.

War ends – Great Depression happens – you kinow who holds the families together – the women. Men couldn’t find work and had to take odd jobs – the women, the women had to figure how to make something from nothing. It wasn’t the men worrying about feeding the children, it was the women worrying about feeding the children and their men. Same as during the Holocaust – as the men were being sent off – the women held the families together and found ways to preserve family heirlooms in some not so comfortable places – i would love to see a man put the family brooch up his butt-hole and squeeze his cheeks together to make certain that the family had something to trade for food when they got to where they were going.

I could go on and on, but the summary point of all of this is stop it men (*slaps hand) you did not spontaneously arrive here nor did women. I am sure that you have some memory of what a warm woman is – a grandmother, great aunt, your own mother, a hilarious female friend that’s like one of the guys, a sister or a daughter. We are not the enemy. Hate is the enemy; it blinds people so badly that they can no longer recognize logic if it fell on their heads. Women – stop hating men; men – stop hating women.

On a side note – my God I love my guy friends – I cannot tell you how many Thirsty Thursday nights I have spent with groups of guys and girls playing drinking games and telling dirty jokes, or ordering a pizza and watching MSTK3000 ( I can only do that with my guy friends – my female friends think its lame). Geez, I would never want to hurt anyone intentionally, and if i do hurt someone, I am quick to apologize. Yes, I can absolutely be a bitch, but who can’t. Which one of you of either gender can cast the first stone of bad behavior.

Here is what I abhor in men – the pervasive attitude that I need protection ( I own guns and know how to use them, along with several aluminum bats, a machete, and several types of tasers), that i am a gold digger – fool, i have a job. You can even ask my ex who said,” Why can’t I just buy you stuff to make you happy, that would be easier than being nice to you.” I never ask for nights out at dinner – I would prefer to stay home and snuggle. In this economy, everyone works hard for their money – or i go dutch – i have no problem with that. If i want something, i can buy it for myself. You know what’s nice to get from a guy – when he walks through the door and gives you a great big hug and says, “i missed you”. That gets me all fuzzy. It’s not that i don’t need men, i want men, or a particular one that is, one special man. I hate when you guys say that all women are bitches, and then i ask well what about this kind of woman. It always goes back to looks – well if you are going to base your desire for companionship on a set of tits, then don’t be surprised when that’s all you get. (and no i am not some ugly bitter fat female – jessica stanfield – look at the facebook and myspace pic and you will see exactly what i look like)

what i cannot stand about women – Snooki – Paris Hilton – any of the Girls Gone Wild – it’s ridiculous. Thanks biatches for making it so very difficult to be taken seriously. I mean really, I cannot take you seriously if I can see your tampon string hanging out beneath whatever that is that you think is a skirt. Women who use their kids as tools against their ex’s (now if you really abused your wife and/or child – then screw you – there is a special place in hell for women beaters and child abusers) but I also realize that some women are quick to cry wolf and screw it up for the rest of us when it really happens. Or better yet, I have a friend who is a single dad, let’s call him BH, who took custody of his kids because his ex went apeshit clawing his face up so bad that he couldn’t come to work for three days. That is horrible ladies.

I told my 11th grade history class this a few years ago – “The women’s equality movement is not an excuse for men to no longer be men or for women to act like whores – it’s just equality – we just want to be seen as a human being – not a piece of ass or a piece of property”

I doubt anyone will read this, but if you do, i would be willing to bet you are female cuz i don’t know if a man would be willing to be this patient. So thank you.

 

When Does Freedom of Speech Cross the Line?

I am an avid Constitutionalist and a vehement supporter of the right to free speech. I believe that everyone has opinions and has the right to voice said opinions. That being said,I do draw a line in the sand I believe that line is crossed when an individual is not using a public forum for his/her expression of voice, but begins seeking out and targeting specific individuals for their verbal barrage of insults that passed logical rhetoric ten miles back and has now turned towards personal, and I mean very personal attacks.

Case in point, I recently came across the post of ^ Reasons to Never Date a Single Mother. While the blog was obviously the work of someone who had either personally had a horrible experience with a single mom, or as he referred to himself a “confirmed bachelor.” Duly noted. Nobody thinks less of you for your personal preferences. Yet it became a bit ridiculous when he began to give his reasons: these women apparently accuse their suitors of molesting their children, these women expect him to fill in for a new daddy, blah blah ad nauseum. That’s all good and fine too. While I disagree, he is entitled to his opinion.

The line was crossed, however,when several women began expressing their personal views and were repeatedly attacked by the cluster of angry men on there. I had one in particular tell me that i should change tampons because he could smell me from where he was. my child was a bastard, and that i didn’t know who the father of the child was. On top of the insults, when asked to provide peer-reviewed articles, he responded that i am unable to think because of my vagina and sent me several inappropriate pictures of women in compromising situations.

I asked him to stop. He wouldn’t. Now one might argue that I am an overly sensitive female who cannot verbally defend herself. Yet, that is not the case. If you want, please go and read the blog with the 806 comments. I gave as good as i got. But after the pics were sent to me, i thought to myself,” why should this be okay?” You wouldn’t send a picture of Auschwitz to a Jew or a pic of a lynch mob hanging a black man to a black person. So why is it okay to send pictures of compromised females to a woman.

Any normal comments would be appreciated. I do not mind a good debate, and i don’t mind differing opinions. I do mind resorting to name calling when your arguments just are not there. And i suppose that’s the easiest thing for the non creative person to do – I mean, what’s easier than calling a female a whore, right?

“When we talk about equal pay for equal work, women in the workplace are beginning to catch up. If we keep going at this current rate, we will achieve full equality in about 475 years. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait that long.”

 -Lya Sorano

 

 

Single Motherhood: The Scourge of America?

I have read and re-read so many articles, stats, personal blogs, ad nauseum regarding this topic. I believe (stating an opinion) that just as much harm can come from the standard two parent environment as it can from a single parent environment. It really depends on the type of parenting taking place. I cannot make any empirical sweeping statements, but i can provide my own experience and the experiences of others that i know. I just want to touch on some of the things that I came across because it really did hit a nerve:

1) “Single mother’s make the choice to be single and are selfish for doing so” : Well, i guess that would depend on the situation. My ex slammed my head into a wall in front of my two year old son; i chose to leave. I do not think that makes me selfish at all. I think that makes me responsible for ensuring that my child grows up in a stress free and calm home sans violence. Other women i have known have left because the husbands drank too much, cheated, were verbally and/or physically abusive. Also, one of my single father friends left his ex and took the kids because she was physically violent towards him. As a parent, your child’s welfare should be top priority, not what other people think of you with regards to your failed relationship and the like.

2) “Single mothers are a drain on the economy”: Perhaps they wouldn’t be if their partners pitched in a bit more. My ex helps out and has the child on his insurance, and for that I am grateful. But, many women do not have that kind of help. They are left relying on family members and the community for support. Further, orphans, the disabled, and the elderly drain the economy too; should we cut them off? In fact i will quote from the government 2012 census stating that very few single mothers receive the benefits that people seem to think they get – Poverty: Two fifths of single mother families are poor, triple the poverty rate for the rest of the population.12 The majority of poor children are in single mother families.13 Child poverty is
linked to school dropout; to negative adult outcomes including joblessness and ill health; and to reduced economic output estimated to be about 4% of Gross Domestic Product.14 Hardship: Two fifths of single mother families are “food insecure,”15 one seventh use food pantries,16 one fifth have no health insurance,17 one third spend more than half their income on housing.18 Three quarters of homeless families are single mother families.19 Welfare & Food Stamp Receipt: Although two fifths of all single mothers are poor, only one tenth of all single mothers receive cash welfare assistance.20 Two fifths of all single mothers receive Food Stamps.http://www.legalmomentum.org/our-work/women-and-poverty 

So we are the ones draining the economy but only a tiny percentage get insurance or food assistance. What people fail to0 realize is that these women are ensuring our nation’s future, these children will grow to fight in our wars, run our governments, take care of us when we are old. Yet, society badmouths them as social pariahs, the undoing of our civilized society. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of bad mothers out there, just like there are plenty of bad fathers. But i would be willing to be that those bad mothers are just as likely to come from two parent households as they are from solitary parenting homes.

3) “Single mom’s were trying to trap a man, but it didn’t work out” ; Maybe, but unlikely. I myself never wanted children. I couldn’t stand them. I loved being selfish and spending money on me, traveling, nice restaurants, etc. I was on the pill and had been for over 15 years when i met the father of my son. Rob is a pill baby, and he is the most amazing thing in the world to me. He calls dinosaurs “double doors” and Popsicle “poppasicles”. He is everything to me.

4) “Single moms screw their kids up by parading men in front of their children.” Once again, perhaps my friends and i are the exception to the rule, but i haven’t had a night out in three years. I am at home every weekend, even when the baby is off at grandma’s, because that’s really the only time i can soak in a bath or clean the house, or catch up on laundry. Besides, I would like to think that I would be discreet, but would certainly let the potential suitor know that i am part of a package. I have read on here the “6 reasons to never date a single mother” and all i can say is, good for you. You don’t want to raise another man’s child, neither would I want to raise another woman’s child. But the article, along with many of the comments were ignorant and extremely offensive. Basically we’re whores for spreading our legs, but we would be whores for terminating a pregnancy – pretty much a female bashing site, and while i am all about freedom of speech, let me state: if you plan to come at me and call me names like “fat whore who bred a bastard” that does not win your argument that single mothers are unfit for dating, but it proves that you might be.

I am sure there are other things to add, but it’s Halloween, and I have to go take my lil’ dino trick or treating this evening with his Izzy and Uncle Ryan.

** Side Note: just a thought, but what if all this female bashing of single moms is simply a fear tactic because the one time head of the family – the patriarch, is now being replaced by a matriarch.

“As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.”
—Virginia Woolf

 

 

women should really be careful of these types of people. and if you are a mom to such a son, slap him for all of us

Don't Marry

6 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Post by Older Bachelor on Dec 13, 2004, 7:40pm

Single mothers. Well, here are MY issues with them (This pertains to a woman who had a kid and never married, or divorced her husband because “She wasn’t happy”. If she had a good marriage and he died, there might be wiggle room, but I still wouldn’t date her).

1: She decided to have a kid without a husband. This demonstrates terrible, selfish values. It also shows that she thinks of men as sperm donors and child support payers, NOT husbands & fathers. What will happen if you knock her up? Get ready to pay up for a kid that you won’t get to be a real dad to.

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